I owe you all an update...

I want to first start off by saying, that even after all I will report in this post, I still firmly believe that life still isn't really that hard...

I know all of you have been waiting on pins and needles to hear a confirmation on my pending move to Trinidad. Well, you won't be hearing that confirmation here, folks. What you will be hearing is that, due to increased violence and quite the volatile situation involving our pastor in Trinidad, Ancil, we are closing Church of the Central Plain, and won't be sending any staff (me) there (at least not until things calm down and a new pastor is found).

I know...crazy, huh? I was so sure that this was where the Lord would have me to be. I mean, one of the most confident decisions I have ever made! Could I have been that wrong or as some (ok, Jeff Ramsey) have speculated, was this an Abraham and Isaac situation. Did God want to see exactly how far I would go to follow him...exactly what I was willing to give up only to not require it of me?

I wish I knew. I wish I felt like I knew anything right now. I wish something would seem clear. Most of all, I wish my heart was not broken over this decision. I wish I could rest so firmly in the fact that God's plan has something so much bigger and better in store that this didn't hurt so much.

If I am the Abraham in this story, then as Ramsey said to me last night, I "got Isaac back." problem is...I don't want him. I tasted what it was to, for once, live a life of complete reckless abandon for the Lord. I tasted what it was like to live a life of complete freedom...to relinquish what control I thought I had. After that, I don't want Isaac back, I want the adventure.

(As always, thank you to those who have kept this situation in prayer. I remain confident that this is not the end of our ministry in Trinidad...it's just the beginning. Thank you for your support!)