Crying in a corner...
I generally try to not beat myself up about sin. I realize I'm not perfect and there will always be sin in my life, but I also realize I am a child of God who is covered in amazing perfect grace. I don't condone sin. When I fall, I am simply pretty quick to get back up and keep on truckin' in my relationship with the Lord. I am aware of my weaknesses and work to live a life that leaves those sins behind and brings glory to the Lord. That, folks, is my heart's desire.
Recnetly, Satan has been attacking this Child. He's been attacking from 100 different directions as to catch me off my guard from one direction while I'm fending off attack in another. I wish I could say that I have been able to stand strong at all times and resist, but that is not the case. I can say that I have probably beat myself up about my sin...felt more "guilt" I guess you'd say, than in the past. I felt bad for feeling guilty...like a new believer who needed to have grace explained to them again. Confess, repent, learn, move forward...that needed to be the strategy.
Last night though, I was reading in James 4 and I read something that suddenly made me feel a little better...a little better about the fact that at times recently my sin has left me crying in the corner. James 4 says:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
"Grieve, mourn, and wail..." huh? Change my laughter to mourning and my joy to gloom? That's no fun, but it's kind of where I've been. But here's the beauty...here's the cherry on top, if you will. If during my mourning and gloom, I am truly humbled before the Lord, it says he will "lift me up." So, maybe this grief, this sadness over my weakness, isn't so bad after all. Maybe it's a part of a process of humbling myself, so I can then be lifted up. I pray that's the case and that I'm coming out on the other side...a little lifted up, but still remembering the "grief, mourning, and wailing" of the battle.
Recnetly, Satan has been attacking this Child. He's been attacking from 100 different directions as to catch me off my guard from one direction while I'm fending off attack in another. I wish I could say that I have been able to stand strong at all times and resist, but that is not the case. I can say that I have probably beat myself up about my sin...felt more "guilt" I guess you'd say, than in the past. I felt bad for feeling guilty...like a new believer who needed to have grace explained to them again. Confess, repent, learn, move forward...that needed to be the strategy.
Last night though, I was reading in James 4 and I read something that suddenly made me feel a little better...a little better about the fact that at times recently my sin has left me crying in the corner. James 4 says:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
"Grieve, mourn, and wail..." huh? Change my laughter to mourning and my joy to gloom? That's no fun, but it's kind of where I've been. But here's the beauty...here's the cherry on top, if you will. If during my mourning and gloom, I am truly humbled before the Lord, it says he will "lift me up." So, maybe this grief, this sadness over my weakness, isn't so bad after all. Maybe it's a part of a process of humbling myself, so I can then be lifted up. I pray that's the case and that I'm coming out on the other side...a little lifted up, but still remembering the "grief, mourning, and wailing" of the battle.
posted by Sam Ed. at 9:56 AM
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